Ran into Marianne McCann interviewing Lynne Singh (of the band Keltish) about a rotten experience. Lynne's avatar looks very much like she does in RL, and she's not seven feet tall. She shows up at a club looking to find out who IMed her about a show, gets harassed for being short, called a child, mocked as a "mutie" because her mike wasn't working, and thrown out.
The avatar on the right doesn't look like a child to me. But even if she was one, there's more classy ways to let someone know their choice of avatar isn't appropriate or welcome. IM them. If you've got unusual "dress" requirements, offer them an appropriate freebie outfit or avatar. RL black tie restaurants always have a few jackets and ties available for loan.
If you're running a public venue and you have voice enabled, make sure you can hear how it is being used. Spare yourself the shame of being in charge and allowing your employees or guests to humiliate themselves.
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